Adoption is… Letting Go

My husband Noah and I thought our adoption journey would be perfect. It would be easy and exciting. We would meet the birthmother and build a strong relationship. With our plans made and our home study complete we decided to travel until we were matched.

They said it would take a few years.

Just two short weeks later we got the call. A baby was born and we had to decide if he was our son. Our agency told us the doctors thought he had a brain deformity. The birthmother was gone. She closed the adoption and we would never meet her.

Our “perfect plan” collapsed so quickly.

We had only hours to decide to say “No,” or LET GO and open our hearts to this baby and a huge change of plans.

How many of us in the adoption community have lived this story? A situation arises that is completely different than what we planned for.

It doesn’t mean you always have to say “yes,” but I learned adoption was not about my schedule. It’s about love for a child.

Noah and I agreed to placements seven times. Three times the adoption of a child we hoped for was not finalized.

It’s been painful, expensive, exhausting, and often downright scary. It’s also been exciting, wonderful, strengthening, and completely amazing.

I soon realized that beauty isn’t only in the perfect; it’s also in the chaos.

I learned that if I let go and trust God, adoption—though never easy—became easier.

Letting go feels risky. The day we got the call we were terrified, but we said “Yes,”and became part of a miracle story.

We showed up at the hospital and held baby AJ for the first time. I fell so deeply in love, I couldn’t remember a single plan.

The doctors told us he might never hear, see, walk or talk, but love kept us going. After weeks of testing, the results showed no brain deformity. He could see and hear! He would be able to walk, talk and live a normal life!

Today, our little boy AJ is eight years old. He is a star athlete, never stops talking, and is a fearless advocate for adoption. He helped us say “Yes” to three more babies that are now his sisters—each with their own wild adoption stories.

My advice? Start with a plan. One you and your spouse agree on. But remember to leave room for the unexpected. Let go of expectations and love with all you have.

Letting go allows the story to get bigger, better, and soar way beyond our expectations!


Listen to April and Noah share their story of AJ’s Adoption on iTunes May 14, 2016

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